Our sangha, or meditation group, which I had the privilege of leading last Saturday, devoted some discussion time to the theme of mindful caregiving, essentially how our regular meditation practice becomes embodied in our relationships with others. I wanted to add to this page some of the insights that arose in that discussion. Why is it so important that we practice with others, in a sangha? And how do we take our meditation practice from our sangha into the rest of our lives, particularly when we are caring for others? It is the central question of the book we have begun to read together, Frank Ostaseski's The Five Invitations.
First, one of the comments that has long been attributed to the Buddha himself: One of his followers said in praise of sangha, “Relationship must be half of the experience of our practice. The Buddha responded, “No. Relationship is the whole of our practice.”
Compassion is an essential spiritual teaching, not only in Buddhism but in other traditions as well. Literally it means to suffer with, but in practice, compassion is a response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help them. So there is an implied other, whether a person or another sentient being, or even dissociated aspects of our own selves, which we need to more consciously, more fully embody, in order to know our wholeness or integrity.)
Listening − truly listening − is the most powerful way to connect. We meditate to develop a listening heart, and by listening with our heart, we connect.
In the recent book What is Zen? written by Norman Fischer with the assistance of Sue Moon, Norman said
“…as I’ve gotten older and practiced with more and more people over the years, I have attached much more importance to the teachings about compassion and connection…[Those teachings] are saying that it’s nothing but connection, compassion, and love. That’s all there really is… The teachings are expressed through dialogue and encounter, person to person.”